Winter Anxiety and Summer Depression - Chapter 3

Cassiopeia

Cassie lets out a huff as she logged onto Skype. Tonight is her mandatory bi-weekly Skype session with Dad. Dad is one of the scientists that trying to study the complexity that is the space and the stars. Mum once said that Dad has always been fascinated by the space and stars.

As if she cannot tell. Dad named her after a constellation. Mum told her that it was tied between ‘Cassiopeia’ and ‘Lyra’ so Dad flipped a coin; head for Cassiopeia and tail for Lyra.

Her parents never married, they met in sophomore year of university and they were together until Cassie was ten. When her parents met, Dad said—with this loving look in his eyes—that Mum was a young and driven young girl. Mum is a genius, she managed to skip few years of school, so, yeah, Mum was two years younger than Dad.

The two had Cassie when Mum was contemplating whether or not to take another PhD while Dad just finished his PhD. Cassie was unplanned but that did not mean that she was unwanted. Mum did not take her second PhD even until now. Cassie never asked if she regretted it.

When Cassie was 10, they separated. Dad had to move to Greenland, of all places, because he was invited by this organization that studied about space, stars, and all that jazz. Dad told Cassie that he loves her and will forever love her no matter what. True, Dad loves the two of them but maybe, just maybe, he loves the space and the stars more.

Cassie shakes her head, whoa let’s not go down that rabbit hole tonight.

Cassie prides herself over the fact that she took the separation of her parents well when she was ten. Probably being raised by two scientists has made her more rational and practical than other children. Then again, if she has that kind of thought, maybe she was not 100% okay with it.

Maybe she’s only 99.9% okay with it.

Dad is late. Dad is usually late but tonight he is later than usual. Cassie opens up her browser and begins to idly scroll down her tumblr dashboard. Few minutes later, there’s a notification that Dad is finally online. She closes her browser and plugs in the headpiece.

“Cassiopeia!” Dad booms, voice thick with Northerner accent, once his call went through.
“Dad, hi,” Cassie grins.

Dad is the only one who calls her by “Cassiopeia” no matter how mouthful it is while Mum alternates between “Cassie” and “Cassiopeia” (well, Cassiopeia Jean Lloyd-Stark when she’s in trouble). No one calls her by “Cassiopeia” except Dad and, occasionally, Mum. Her name is too mouthful, she understands.

Usually the people who calls her “Cassiopeia” are the people who truly love her.

The two of them talk about the past two weeks. Dad just finished a small essay—it was actually 10k words worth of essay but it was considered a small essay by his boss. Cassie tells him about her last week in boarding school and her farewell party.

Cassie’s been trying to skirt around the topic of moving and Derek, Mum’s American boyfriend. It’s not like Dad does not know about those two, it’s just that Cassie does not want to talk about them.

With Cassie’s moving two weeks away, they will have to talk about it eventually. Cassie looks at Dad, who’s still chattering vivaciously about some new founding about space and something along that line—

It’s not that Cassie is not interested in science, it’s just that she has never been the researcher type. She likes going up on podium and gives brilliant and passionate presentation but she never likes the researching part too much. A bit of contradiction, really.

“..and it was brilliant, honey! I will take you to see it… Cassiopeia, are you okay?” Dad tilts his head.
“I am moving across the big pond, Dad,”

Dad’s expression softened, slightly. Cassie can’t really tell due to the mediocre quality of Dad’s webcam. It’s funny, really, how Dad is a scientist and everything and she thought that scientists have all these amazing up-to-date gadgets and toys—

“Are you worried about Derek?”

Cassie chokes on her own saliva.

“Cassiopeia, dear God! Are you okay? Is Mum home?!” Dad is moving frantically over there, his image on Cassie’s laptop is a messy blobs of pixels.

Cassie laughs softly and waves her hand dismissively.

“I am okay, Dad. Calm down,”

Cassie is taken aback. She is not dense, she knows that Dad knows about Derek. It’s just never crossed Cassie’s mind that Dad would be the first one to bring up Derek.

“Cassiopeia, are you really okay?”
“I am really okay. What do you think of Jessamine Theresa Ward? Does that mean I am going to be Cassiopeia Jean Lloyd-Stark-Ward?”

Dad laughs, full out laughing.

“Oh, honey, I am sorry. Calm down, love, no one is marrying anyone. If they do get married, I am sure Mum’s gonna let you pick,”
“Does that mean you don’t want Mum marrying… Him?”

Cassie is reaching, she knows she is but she can’t stop. Gosh, it’s so pathetic.

Dad’s smile slowly neutralized into that everyday neutral not-smiling-but-not-really expression. Cassie can’t tell if his Dad’s eyes get a teeny bit misty.

“Cassiopeia.. Mum and me.. We were best friends first. We’ve always been, until now. I still love her and will always love her but we’re always better as best friends,” Dad smiles, a little sadly.

Maybe.

“I never told you this because I’d rather tell you this in person…” Dad takes in a deep breath.

“I am sorry that we needed years to realize that. Deep down, I’ve always hoped that I did not disappoint you too much,”

Cassie forces a smile, rubbing her eyes hastily.

“I know and you did not.. Disappoint me too much, that is,” Cassie sighs.
“Jessamine told me about Derek. In fact, I was the first person she told about Derek,” Dad beams.
“I am sure you are,”

Dad’s smile returns.

“Hey, I’ve asked your Mum about this and she said yes so now I only have to ask you,”
“What is it?”
“Would you like to spend one week over here? I’ll take a week off,”
“Is that allowed…?”
“Of course, I’ve been banking sick days,”
“Dad… Really?”
“Yes, Cassiopeia, I would like you to come here and spend the week,”
“What about Mum?”
“She’s planning to stay three days if you say yes. She has that thing—,”
“Yeah, yeah.. The convention,” Cassie huffs.

Dad grins.

“So, is that a yes?”
“Of course, Dad. I would love to spend the week there,”
“Brilliant,”