Winter Anxiety and Summer Depression - Chapter 4

James

The prospect of having a new sister at the age fifteen kind of scared James. Had only the new sister would be an itsy bitsy baby, maybe it’d be less scary. He had heard from Derek that Jemma has a daughter his age.

He wanted the thing between Derek and Jemma—whatever it was—worked out. Derek had been alone for the past ten years and before Jemma, Derek never looked so… Happy? Fuck, that was sappy.

If, no, when everything worked between Derek and Jemma, the whole new stepsibling would be so weird and awkward. He had been an only child and he was destined to be an only child—Derek once said that his father didn’t want another child.

Jemma sounded nice—they talked through Skype twice before. Through the blurry video call, James could see that Jemma was pretty; brown hair and big eyes. If Derek was one of his friends, James would totally highfive him. Derek was not one of his friends, James did not highfive him.

“You okay, bud?” Derek’s question snapped James’ brooding easily.

James looked up to find Derek’s worried expression. He waved one hand dismissively.

“Yeah, all’s good. Lasagna’s super good tonight, I guess you finally got the sauce right,”
“This is a take-out,” Derek deadpanned.
“Oh. Shit. I mean, shoot. Sorry, Derek, I—,”

Derek stayed quiet, his face looked weird and James immediately realized that he was being fooled.

“You’re messing with me!” James whined, actually whined.

Derek flashed him a mischievous grin, the corners of his eyes crinkled into faint lines of age.

“Yeah, I finally get the sauce right. Thanks to Cassie,”

Cassie. James gave Derek a questioning look.

“Cassie is the name of Jemma’s daughter. We finally get to talk, she helped me to even out the ratio for the sauce with some science thingy, now that she’s back from her father’s place. Wanted to introduce the two of you but you were out so..” Derek finished with a nonchalant shrug.

James nodded. The two times he talked to Jemma, Cassie were not there because she attended a boarding school in Scotland.

“You know, they’re going to be here on Wednesday,”

Derek is excited. He tried to play it cool but it was just so painfully obvious to James.

“Oh.. I’d love to come but, I have that thing, you know,” James answered vaguely, stuffing his mouth with lasagna. “No problem, want to pick me up from the movie?”

“No, no, no. It’s okay, Derek, I can ask Sooyeon’s brother to give me a ride,”
“If you say so, bud,”

James never lied lying to Derek because Derek was good. Derek always knew when someone was lying and James was never a good liar. Tonight was a different story, Derek looked happy—giddy, even—so he was safe. Besides, James had the whole summer break to know ‘Cassie’.

+++

The next afternoon, James, sans shirt, was lying on his bed. His eyes are fixed on the ceiling fan while Sooyeon gathered her long, silky, red-from-the-bottle hair into an efficient ponytail. They just made out few minutes ago and whenever they made out, they always manage to lose their shirts.

Sooyeon grabbed James’ t-shirt and slipped into it before lied besides him.

“Do you think this is weird?” James asked, his fingers quietly laced into Sooyeon’s.
“What? Us? Or your anxiety about your potential stepsister?”
“Hey! We’re not weird,” James gestured vaguely with their laced fingers, “whatever between us is not weird,” James frowned.
“It is. James, we broke up but here I am. Wearing your shirt after we switched bodily fluid,”
“Ew,”

Sooyeon laughter rang between them, it was the most ungraceful laugh ever but James always found it endearing. The two of them has become inseparable since fifth grade. It was straight up attraction between them, they’ve had their on-off since seventh grade and along the way, they realized even when they’re not dating, they found a bestfriend in each other.

“You know, I don’t want to make out with you but I do,” Sooyeon admitted.
“Yeah, same,”

The two of them laughed at that. Sooyeon rolled to her side, snuggling closer to James.

“Oh, James, you’re plenty weird,” Sooyeon grinned fondly, “your anxiety about Cassie from England does not make you weirder,” Sooyeon faked a British accent.
“You always know what to say, Sooyeon,”

Sooyeon beamed at him before pressing a big, noisy smooch on his cheek.

“It’s completely normal. Are you afraid that Derek would pay attention to Jemma and Cassie more?” Sooyeon whispered.
“What am I, four?” James dodged.

Sooyeon only shrugged.

“Just asking. It’s a possibility,”

James scrunched his nose

“Let’s get ice cream,” James tugged on Sooyeon’s hand.
“Yeah, you go buy them, I am going to wait here,”
“Pft, lazy ass,”
“Oh, shush,”

+++

Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday just passed meaninglessly. After picking up the Starks, Derek had to go out of town for a job. Derek also mentioned in the passing that Jemma and Cassie were going to be busy at least until next week.

Although the Starks lived across their street, James never really saw Jemma or Cassie. It was both equally strange and relief. James would not be able to handle it if he had to see Jemma and Cassie without Derek.

Derek said that he was going to return to Middletown on Monday night.

Tuesday morning, James found cash on his nightstand along with a shopping list and a note saying: we’re almost out of everything. Thanks, bud. –Derek.

After a quick wash up and a bowl of sugar filled breakfast bowl a la James Ward (cornflakes, sugar, crushed pop tart, and milk), he headed to the supermarket.

Derek Ward was a healthy eater—he was after all, used to be a private bodyguard, making James was one, too. Although Derek let James got away with occasional sugar filled and grease soaked food once in a while, Derek insisted to make healthy homemade meals and to pack James nutritious sandwich for lunch on school days.

James picked up all the greens, veggies, and other healthy food before making his way to the cereal aisle. When school is out, Derek would let James eat any cereal he wanted but on school days, Derek insisted him having balanced and nutritious breakfast because James, breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

He was weighing his choice between Lucky Charms and Cocoa Puffs when a soft, lilted voice interrupted him.

“James? James Ward, is that you?” asked a voice with a lilt of British accent.

James just froze. He was not prepared to meet Jemma or Cassie like this. In the cereal aisle while he was holding two boxes of sugar abomination and wearing comfortable (read: ugly) assembly. He did not want to badly represented Derek, aren’t those Brits people are usually well-dressed and posh?

“Uh, yes?” James replied unintelligently.

The woman was definitely Jemma, not Cassie. She smiled, no, beamed at him. Her smile was so bright, friendly, and simply blinding.

“Hello, James. I am Jemma Stark, do you remember me? We talked on Skype once,”
“Uh, yes,” James threw the two cereals into the cart and extended his hand, “Nice to finally meet you, uh, Miss Stark,”

Jemma laughed and waved her hand dismissively.

“Jemma. Please call me Jemma and nice to finally meet you, James,” Jemma shook his hand and grinned.

When they retreated their hands, Jemma looked down at her watch then flashed James an apologetic smile.

“Anyways, I gotta run now, Cassie is feeling unwell, I have to get home ASAP, lovely to meet you, James. Send my love to Derek,”

+++

Derek had a towel around his shoulders. James did not really see the point because his hair was not even that long. Derek marched to the kitchen and began to prep their dinner.

“Jemma told me to send you her love,” James cringed at the word.

Derek stopped and gawked at James.

“You met her..?”
“Yeah, when I was doing the grocery shopping,”

Derek did not say anything so James broke their eye contact and glared at his tablet. He tried to concentrate on the latest novel he downloaded. He could hear Derek’s footsteps approaching.

“You okay, bud?”
“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” James answered quickly.

Perhaps too quickly.

“I have a feeling you’re not ready to meet them, that’s why I haven’t invited them here,”

Now James gawked at Derek.

“What,”
“It’s okay, though. I understand,”
“Yeah, I am not. Sorry, Dad,”
“It’s okay, bud,”
“You can invite them here, you know. For dinner, or whatever,”
“You sure?”
“Yeah, I’ve met Jemma anyway. About time I see Jemma and.. Uh, Cassie. I’m happy for you… and Jemma,”

Derek smiled and ruffled his hair.