I don't know if I've said this before in this blog but back in high school I signed up to be a committee for a big school event. As in it was once-a-year event a.k.a 10th graders orientation. Back in high school, for whatever reason I still cannot fathom why did I even sign up for that, I managed to sign up to be a committee for 10th graders orientation.
I sent in my form, somehow passed the first evaluation, then somehow, managed to be the student coordinator for consumption department. I have two other students in the department and four teachers in the department. Basically, I was the one who had to take care of the eating situation for the student board. Just students, not the teacher.
So, before we go in, I want to raise a question that will be the whole theme of this post.
"Was that an insult or was I just being a dramatic little b*tch?"
Let me provide a background context:
You see, back in high school, I was super shy, super quiet, super insecure, nervous wreck, painfully awkward, always looking for approval, angsty kid with no self esteem who did not know how to carry herself.
Well. I still am all of those, by the way, it's just that now in my 20s, I have a new mindset to approach things and that is "why does it matter, we're all gonna die anyway" mindset.
I am no longer super shy, super quiet, super insecure, nervous wreck, painfully awkward, always looking for approval, angsty kid with no self esteem who did not know how to carry herself but now, I am a shy, quiet, insecure, somewhat nervous, awkward, always looking for approval, less angsty with no self esteem but now is at peace with it who doesn't know how to carry herself but with a different mindset.
ANYWAYS. With that being said, I was the golden example of "shy, awkward angsty teen" trope. Not only that, I also had a problem with how I look (I still do, but I have a different mindset now). I am tall, big, chubby, broad-shouldered, with all the junk in the right and wrong places of a girl. I am what the Chinese matriarch would refer as "you will never find a husband looking like that" typa girl.
Ok. Enough background context.
So what happened was this:
During the break, the student committees did a lot of meeting, discussing and planning the whole thing for the event and when the semester start, we had to present everything to the teachers that were involved in the whole event.
It was the first student coordinators meeting with the teachers and I had to stand up in front of REAL LIFE PEOPLE and basically presented the food arrangement for the orientation. REAL LIFE LIVING AND BREATHING PEOPLE!!!!! I WAS NERVOUS I WANTED TO CRY AND I WAS JUST SO SO SO UNREASONABLY NERVOUS.
It wasn't even a very big meeting, it was just the student coordinators and a couple of teachers but! It was the first serious, intense, and important meeting after all. An actual meeting I had to talk in front of a lot of teachers at once. Like, in class, I did talk to teachers but when it was in class, it was usually just one teacher.
Before it was my turn to speak up, one of the teachers asked who was the student coordinator for the consumption department with this booming voice, like, he wasn't really shouting, it was just that his voice is... I really don't know how to describe his voice but his voice is just naturally sonorous, I think? Like, he doesn't even has to shout, his normal, speaking voice is booming.
"Who's the student coordinator for consumption department?"
So, I just answered timidly and meekly and I remember I was so nervous and scared at the time. "It's me,"
That teacher turned to me and looked at me. He didn't say anything for a couple of seconds then I stood up to go in front of the class room to give my presentation and in that moment when I stood up, he just said this with his booming voice.
"Oh, kamu koordinator konsumsi? Wah, cocok nih, bodinya aja begitu,"
And then he chuckled and the teacher beside him also laughed a little.
At that moment, I was already nervous and scared so I just smiled and laughed a little. I walked to the front gave my presentation and everything was over.
Not to be one of those hypersensitive snowflakes but that sentence couldn't help me but to wonder- what was that teacher trying to say with that comment? Why was he talking about my body?
As this post getting to its end, I feel like I should change the original question I posed in the beginning of this post.
"Was that an insult or was I just being a dramatic little b*tch or was he trying to allude that he was in a cannibalism cult?"
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